For the love of food.

I still have about fifty pounds I would like to lose. The odds of me losing it? Not sure. I try and eat wisely but sometimes I feel like my eating is out of control. Food is hard, and even if you have the surgery, you still have to eat better. I have good and bad days. It’s all about will power at this point. So with that being said, I’ve done pretty well this week. I haven’t overeaten or eaten anything to hate myself. I still can only eat small portions. I am supposed to eat three full meals and then maybe two snacks. But the snacking, that’s hard. It’s a habit that’s almost as old as me… I worry, I eat. I stress, I eat. I sit I eat. Everything in my life shouldn’t revolve around food. I do have one event coming up that is keeping me from completely messing up. My little sister is getting married in January and I am part of her wedding party. I just want to look nice in the dress I get to pick out. I am sure I will now, but I just want to be a little bit smaller. Right now I am just maintaining.

So, yesterday was the 4^th of July. We had hamburgers and hot dogs. What did I eat? OMG carbs. I had suddenly salad and a handful of fries. I just try and eat a limited amount of foods I like I didn’t eat a hamburger or hotdog. I wish I could say I had no regrets, but I always have regrets when I eat badly. It was just one meal I know but it still gets me. I always think “you start eating like this again, you’ll gain it back. Do you want to be that big again?” So I just try and eat a limited amount of foods I like. This next grocery trip, I do plan to eat better. What’s the point of working out if I am not eating better? I will blog about what I eat soon. This will keep me honest and working on myself.